I start up again in September, and because my gym is a Mayhem affiliate, the Monthly Mayhem challenge is the Mayhem 30 Hard (based off the 75 Hard challenge, which, if you know nothing about it, Google that shit and then applaud everyone who is determined enough to do it because damn, I could not repeatedly set myself up for that much failure. And my colleague who did it looked exhausted. I'm digressing).
It's a challenge designed to test your resolve and self-discipline. And it's a little easier than 75 Hard.
But does that mean I'm going to do it? I mean, I could, but does Mayhem not know that people (or their children) start school in September, so it's not just "here are 7 things you need to accomplish everyday to
be worthy complete this challenge", it's "here are 7 things you need to accomplish everyday to be worthy complete this challenge and you need to prepare / help your kids prepare lunches, get them to school, drive them to all their extra curriculars (I love having nerdy introverted children), make supper and do laundry on a regular basis. Also have sex with your significant other. Unless you're so exhausted that all you want to do is cry in the shower and maybe sleep there because the bed is way over there and now that you're in the shower do you really need to get out? Because yeah, I need to add to my existing get-up-at-04:30-go-to-bed-at-22:00-but-you-need-8+-hours-of-sleep day.
This is what we have to do (and what my inside voice thinks about it all):
For the September monthly challenge, we’re doing a condensed version of the 75 Hard program, which you may have heard of.
To successfully complete this challenge, for the next 30 days, you must do ALL of the following EVERY DAY (the notes on this say that this scores a 7, and that if we don't do all of it, score what you did do. Also, you don't have to "start over" like you do in 75 Hard):
- Complete two 30+ minute workouts (at least one workout MUST be outside) If I do Shavasana for half an hour on the deck and then for half an hour in bed, does that count?
- Drink 2/3 of your body weight in ounces of water
(For example: if you weigh 200 lbs, you will need to drink a minimum of 133 oz of water each day) Hahahahahahahahahaha. Wait. Didn't someone die from this? I can get about 60% of this one, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to get a 7/7 day.
- Read 10+ pages in a nonfiction book Do CRA rulings count? Financial Statements? Lavender's Blue is non-fiction, right? I'm learning how to deal with drunk people and escape weddings so it counts.
- Consume zero alcohol for the entire 30 days The blueberry apple ciders will stay in my fridge for another 30 days. No problemo.
- Choose any diet and stick with it The notes on this say that even just logging all food everyday, or reaching the goal of no snacks after supper can count. I do actually want to follow the 800g Challenge diet. You do feel amazing on it! But that means that I have to prep salads for work lunches, and not eat just pasta for supper like you do when you answer a kazillion unread emails on your first day back after a holiday whilst putting out Sage fires. Accounting, not brush.
- No cheat meals Someone I know has a birthday in September, so we all know how that one's going to go.
- Take a daily progress picture There may not be publishable words for this one.
I'm going to bed now.