Wednesday 30 April 2014

Crutches Days 1-3

I have a fractured bone in the bottom of my foot that requires that I be on crutches for six weeks. I have kids, and I therefore occasionally walk on said foot, so I'm looking at longer than six weeks. Fuck.

I felt for kids on crutches in school, but I did not feel enough. Here's why:

Day One: (Monday) It's not so bad. I'm getting a good upper-body workout! And, crutching around is great cardio! Awesome! Not so awesome? Other people have to carry my soup/hot beverages for me. I wonder if my boss would hire me a personal assistant just for that? Probably not.

Day One: (Monday Night) I went to class. After sitting, not crutching, for a couple hours, my hands doth protest the pressure of the hand-hold on the crutches. And by doth protest I mean Holy Fuck Lady Don't Touch!

Day Two: I can't brush my teeth, not unless I lay my head down to bring it level with the supportive counter. Shooting pain up my arms for the first few strides this morning. It felt like my hands were on fire. And, apparently, I too have muscles on the fronts of my shoulders and arms. You know the ones: usually you only see them on the fronts of romance novels--the ones with pictures of really buff guys with well-defined muscles, including the small ones on the fronts of your shoulders and arms. I'm not buff, but I have the same muscles. And they really really hurt.

Day Three: I can't reach the ignition in my car. It's too far away. And the key is too heavy to lift. I also have muscles on the tops of my shoulders, but I think that they quit working at about 3pm.

More tomorrow. Can't type anymore.

Sunday 27 April 2014

BMBR: Thirst no 1 by Christopher Pike

My niece leant me this book. It's about a vampire's efforts to save all humanity, and to find her own.

This is my niece's favourite series. Yes, she's a teenager.

Boiled down, this story is about the last vampire on Earth (or so she thinks), her love for a boy named Ray, her discovery that she isn't the last vampire, and her quest to become human again.

She's also trying to reconcile her love for mankind--the side of her that hates to kill, with her nasty side--the side of her that has no qualms about squeezing someone's head so hard that their brains squish out.

At first I had a hard time with this reconciliation; if this teen book were a movie, teens wouldn't be able to watch it. But the more I read it, even though it gave me bad dreams, the more I respected Pike's honesty about how nasty a vampire would really be. There isn't much romanticism, and it's actually quite hard to like Alisa, let alone love her, yet it's easy to root for her success, and to love her.

Bottom line: it's $13 for a real book, and $11 for an eBook. The whole time I was reading it, I was thinking that if I were a teenager, I'd probably spend that. As a busy mom, nah. I'd maybe get it from the library if I had time, but really, I'll probably only read on in the series if my niece lends me the rest of the books.

Until I got to the end. I'm still not going to buy the books, but I am really hoping that I can borrow them!

Saturday 26 April 2014

Random Coffee Thoughts

I've been mixing Hubby's real coffee beans with my decaf coffee beans for that right amount of caffeine. You know it; it's that amount right in between "I'm just pretending that I need to wake up" and "Hey!-Whatchyadoin'?Huh?Haveyouseenmyglasses?DidyouhaveagoodweekendIdid.Igotthatreportdonealreadydidyougetyourworkdone?Okaywellgottago!"

You know what I found at the store today? Kicking Horse has a HALF-Decaf coffee!

You know what it's called?


Yeah, baby. That's right in between pretending that you're going to do something productive today, and being an annoying overachiever.


Monday 21 April 2014

You Know You want this Job

Position: Trailer Park Supervisor

Location: Sunnyvale Trailer Park, Nova Scotia

Job Description: candidate must be willing to drink excessively on the job, pursue romantic endeavors with assistant trailer park supervisor, and must be creative with the use of fecal matter in metaphors. Must be able to tolerate liquor, cheeseburgers, and trailer park residents.

Salary: $5000/yr, + liquor & cheeseburgers.

To start immediately.

This ad was posted from the Kijiji Classifieds app.
You can download the app from Google Play

Random Thoughts 2014-04-21

I've been trying to exercise at lunch at work. Gym upstairs. On bike now. It just went up a level.

I was busy filing our taxes last night; Hubby was distracting me by watching Zombieland on Netflix. Rule #1: Cardio. On it. So long as there's a functioning bike around, I'm good. Unless the zombie was a bike rider in its former life. Then I may be in trouble.

That space between this paragraph and the one just before it? Two-and-a-half minutes of torture. I mean resistance level five. Stupid interval program. At least I've stopped crying. Or laughing hysterically. I'm not sure what that was, but it wasn't pretty.

The snow is melting around town, and almost everybody has their lawn back (it may even be going green!). We aren't in the "almost everybody" category. Not even close. I suppose that that's what we get for buying in the summer.

Whose idea was it to try and blog while riding a bike, no matter how stationary it is? Seriously? Have you ever tried to type on a tablet while trying not to die? And the auto-correct just doesn't get it. I'm going back to North and South.


Friday 11 April 2014

BMBR: A Wanted Man by Lee Child

I buy Jack Reacher books as real books, usually from Costco because they're a bit cheaper and therefore a more justifiable purchase. I'd probably pay full price. I like them in real form because my Dad reads them too. Sometimes he buys them and shares them with me. And by that I mean he doesn't usually get them back. Ahem.

Anyway, the four days it took me to read this one was an incredibly long time (it usually takes eight hours), but see my last post. I also had to sleep and work and hang with the kids etc. It's taken four days to write this much of this post. Busy Mom Book Review, for sure.

Quick synopsis: Jack Reacher hitches a ride with the wrong guys. Or, should I say that some bad guys pick up the wrong hitchhiker?

Action ensues, full of math puzzles, death, mayhem, and good old fashioned ass-kickings.

As usual, Lee Child does not disappoint. (Don't judge the books by the movie. They're better. But that's a post for another day because if I start in on the movie, it's going to hijack this post.)

The next book is already out. It's not waiting for me on my piano, yet. But soon. Very, very soon.

BMBR score: just buy them and read them, but be warned--you won't be able to put them down once you begin, so I recommend not starting them just before bed.

Friday 4 April 2014

I'm Jonesing. Thanks, Lee Child. Thanks a Lot.

I'm currently reading A Wanted Man by Lee Child. In paper form. I can't bring it to work because I can't read it while on the exercise bike (I probably could, but it's so much easier to turn pages on a Kindle when you're trying not to die) at lunch time. And if I can't read it on the bike, I'll sit at my desk on lunch and read it, so then I won't be working out. So I just didn't bring it.

Which means that I'm having withdrawals. I must know what happens next!

Exercise in patience, Spinny, exercise in patience.

Thursday 3 April 2014

Outlander is coming to TV!

And I'm so excited!

And, Showcase is airing it in Canada, so I'm even more excited because now I'll actually be able to watch it!