Wednesday, 22 January 2020

Three Mini-Mommy Vacations to Try

Ways moms can get a mini vacation:
1. Plan a long weekend getaway by yourself (working on this one for later this year).
  Pros: you come back refreshed, you don't have to worry about the every day logistics of getting everyone fed and off to school, and you don't have to mitigate the 1000 fights that happen every day.
  Cons: you have to find someone else to take care of those logistics and to mitigate those fights, and it can cost money. 
  Pros still outweigh the cons.

2. Send the kids to overnight camp. I've never done this one.
  Pros: you don't have any child related logistics to worry about between drop off and pick up.
  Cons: maybe you miss your kids, your kids might miss you, costs etc. 
  Still worth it.

3. Get a nasty blood infection, end up in emergency, and then in ICU, and get put on infectious protocols, and your kids aren't allowed to see you. I'm currently trying this one out.
  Pros: nurses are awesome. They will do so much for you, and you will lose the last shred of inhibitions over privacy during bodily functions that you had left. Not that you had much left. You have 2 kids and one bathroom; they've seen you do everything in there, and I mean everything. 
  You will have time to sleep, read, chat with a few friends, you won't have to worry about work, and someone else definitely has to take care of all those logistics listed above.
  Cons: you can't see your kids. You have 3 IV lines, a neck line, an artery line, heart monitors, a catheter, and you need someone to help you get all of that 3 feet to the commode just so that someone else can wipe your ass afterwards. You can't see your kids. You have constant diarrhea, from whatever, and it sucks. You can't see your kids. You are worried about kid logistics and can't see your kids.
  This one is only a good break for a couple days. And then it gets old.

Thursday, 16 January 2020

Bathtub Stories 2020-01-12: Some Dinosaurs Got up to No Good

One night, some dinosaurs decided to get up to no good. They were little, mostly cause they'd just been born, but that didn't stop them from tearing up the road and surrounding a little blue car. Dude in the little blue car is thinking, 'man, those baby dinosaurs are huge.'

Dude called his friend Bob for help, but Bob was in the middle of a street race, which he lost because he had to pull over for a fire truck. 
The fire truck was on its way, not to a fire, but to a situation that seemed to be impossible, but was true.

The street racers that were ahead of the pack could have come in 1st and 2nd, but they weren't paying attention, and they crashed in to an Apatosaurus. (Not a Brontosaurus. Did you know that Brontosauruses aren't a real dinosaur? Some paleontologists were in a Dinosaur Race (before the Space Race was even a thing), and Paleontologist Marsh wanted to be the next guy to name the next big dinosaur, so he presented the Brontosaurus (made up of bones from 3 different dinosaurs) before someone published that it was so similar to an Apatosaurus, which already existed, that they were the same thing.)

 Okay, so maybe the cars crashed in to a Brontosaurus, but only as a synonym to an Apatosaurus. Or maybe it's a Diplodocus. 
Regardless, the really, really big dinosaur (RRBD) kicked the street racers in to the pond. The flashing lights and sirens of the fire truck made the RRBD hesitate, but only for a moment before it side-swiped the truck in to the pond, too.
The losing street racer, Bob, saw everything, peed his pants in fear, gathered his wits together, and reversed direction as fast as he could. He wanted to pick up his buddy, Dude, from the little blue car on his way by, but sadly, well, I'm sorry to say that the little dinosaurs were up to no good, and they'd punted the little blue car in to the pond, so Dude was on his own. Even Bob was having a tough time of it because the road around the pond was a loop, and there was no way off of the loop unless you went in to the pond or off a cliff, and the RRBD was chasing him.
The only one who got away unscathed was the sticky bot. Because well, he was a sticky bot, and he could go anywhere so long as the surface was smooth.
Good thing this particular pond had smooth walls above it, and not the rough stony walls that so many ponds did.

Tuesday, 17 September 2019

Travel Theme - tire trouble

Last year family Tupper drove to Manitoba. We managed to blow a few trailer tires.
This year we went to the Kootenays. Different trailer. Same fun.

Saturday, 15 June 2019

An Apology to My Neighbours

My kids are so incredibly loud.

They yell and scream at each other when they're angry.

They yell and shriek with joy.

They yell and holler in their pretend games.

I try to tell them to use their inside voices, and then I remember that their inside voices are really loud. Really, really loud.

Saturday, 13 April 2019

My Kids Are Making Slime

Without my help.

Possible parenting fail. Well, probable. Green Chlorophyll everywhere.

They cleaned it up. With a white towel.

They are learning how not to follow slime recipes, and I'm learning how to not be a control freak.

Good times.

Wednesday, 29 August 2018

Curried prawns and white blouses don't mix.

No matter how careful you are.
Especially when as you sit down you think, 'I'll probably dribble on the last bite.'

You will dribble yellow curry sauce on the third to last bite.
So then you'll Google how do you get curry out of white clothes.

Most popular option is detergent and white vinegar and warm water,  and then you dab at the stain until it works up. Sorta worked. Then I tried straight Forever New (I  have to wash my bras anyway so I might as well dig it out). Worked a bit more.

I should mention that this shirt is new and worn once. IE today.

THEN I found my Pink Solution laundry bar under the sink. Fab-u-lous!

Other things that do not pair well with white tops: all other Indian food, Mexican food, red sauces, coffee, baby vomit, any other food, going outside, children, pets, bleeding noses, and life.

Now I'm rethinking my recent decision to replace half of my wardrobe with white blouses.

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Random Thoughts 2018-07-26

Where the heck have I been?

I'm watching K1 swing on the saucer and K2 is a little bit too oblivious. I'd like to say that he'd only get knocked over once, but, you know, he's 5. Or something.

I've been feeling the urge to just write lately. I miss it. Hanging out with my hubby after hours has been nice though, and let's face it, if I sit down and do nothing, my kids ignore me. If, however, I start writing or even do banking or dishes or anything that can indicate that I'm not readily available, then they need me.

Have you ever been disappointed by a pretty drink?

Ugh. K2 is doing the head grater (IE he's rubbing sand in his hair. Because it's fun).