Friday, 1 August 2014

BMBR: Bought for Love (You Don't Know Jack) by Michelle Hughes

Language Warning

You're right, I don't know Jack. And I don't fucking want to.

I haven't finished this book, and I probably won't. The only reasons I'm 75% along are that it's short, and my kids were watching Pocoyo while I sat down to eat, and Mockingjay was in my purse, which was down by the front entrance. Too far.

I think Miss Hughes read 50 Shades, and saw all of the other BDSM-themed books flooding the market these days, and thought, "I can do that, too!" but she didn't put enough thought in to things like research and grammar and punctuation.

Jack doesn't want a Submissive; he wants a submissive wife who will raise his kids and do whatever he says when he says and how the fuck dare she say no. To anything. Including sex.

Yeah, that's rape, buddy.

You know, when the chick you're about to fuck--and she's a virgin by the way (which you know)--says "No" because you pushed in way to hard and didn't stop and kept stretching her until she realized that it would feel good if she just relaxed and went with it, well, when she said "No", you should have, like any decent man, actually stopped. Certainly you wouldn't have even gotten to that point if you'd known what you were doing. If you'd known what you were doing, things would've gone slowly enough that you'd have known before she said no that you should slow, stop, wait for things to stretch before making sure she was okay, then continuing on slowly.

And, telling her that it's okay that she's in a lot of pain because hey, it's supposed to hurt the first time? Um, that's a fucking lie if you know what you're doing. Trust me. And I'm sorry, Mr. Rich Stud, if you're such a stud, you should know what you're doing.

Ladies: if your first knows what he's doing, and you're ready (emotionally, not just physically), it shouldn't hurt more than some discomfort. You shouldn't be fucking crying your eyes out afterward because it hurt so badly. Yeesh.

Anyway, deflowering rape scene aside, the rest of the story (up to 75%, anyway) reads like a sad justification for allowing yourself to be part of an abusive relationship by saying, "oh no, Spinny, really, it's okay. BDSM is hot. I enjoy it, really."

Um, yeah, it's hot, but no, this crappy ownership shit isn't. Seriously, I've read some hot BDSM etc stories, and they were great foreplay. And some of them were pretty damn uncomfortable and some of them were boundary-pushing, and some of them weren't that well written, but they were sane, and they were hot. This shit just makes me ill. As in, I can't finish it because I don't like feeling this nauseated.

I may be a little irritated.


You know what 50 had that Jack doesn't? A safe word. A contract that lays it all out for the virgin--you know, the one that fucking discloses all the shit you want to do to her? Respect for hard limits (finger-rape up the ass is just as uncool as pushing a virgin, Jack). A reasonable timeline between meeting the heroine, deflowering her, and introducing her to your favourite lifestyle. A safe, sane and consensual relationship that ends up with the heroine willingly and enthusiastically submitting to you, and who loves your playroom. A heroine that doesn't put up with your shit and actually stands up to you.

That's right, a submissive who stands up to you when you're being a total fucking douche bag instead of a heroine who cries until you can make her demand that she trust you and she thinks "OMG I want him so bad" so she slumps her shoulders in submission defeat as she makes her way to your bed.

BMBR bottom line: waste of a fucking 1.07. Sorry Michelle.

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