BMBR: Luke Young's Benefits Series.

Super quick BMBR because I'm at work and books 3 & 2 only cheap for a day or 2 maybe. 1 may still be free (thanks Bookbub).

In agreement with the 1 star review on Amazon.ca for book 2, these aren't the best written books with the best plots and if it's a scene without sex it's okay at best.

But if you want to laugh your ass off in some places, get some sex tips (anal too), and just plain want some foreplay, go for it.

It's like reading porn but funnier.

Edited to add: I've read more of book 2.

Bottom line: if you're in this for more than a ton of gratuitous sex between people who are all super gorgeous with perfect bodies and wondrous sexy parts, you'll be disappointed by the super cheesy writing and the huge lack of a plot. It's just porn, really.

I wouldn't spend more than a buck or two per book.

BMBR: Kelly Rimmer's The Secret Daughter and Me Without You

I'm looking at two books by Kelly Rimmer today. Both were quite good, and both were worth reading.

Warning: spoiler alert on Me Without You, but that can happen if you read the reviews on Amazon, too. Don't worry. Knowing doesn't take away from the story.

The Secret Daughter was good except for how annoyingly over reactive the main character was about learning that she was adopted. I think at one point I even skipped a few pages because of it.

Aside from that, it was an eye-opening look at the issue of forced adoption. It happened in Canada too, and I had little idea.

Me Without You is a great read. Guy meets girl and she changes his life for the better, even after she dies.

This is just such a wonderful book. Because this book is the definition of catharsis, you will need a box of tissue handy.

Bottom line: Me Without You is a must read.

BMBR: Eternal Vows by Christy Peebles

This one was free (thanks Bookbub), and it was good enough to buy the second one, Eternal Destiny, for less than 4 bucks.

The intelligence level of the conversation - and there is a freaking lot of it - however, took a nosedive into Stupid Land.

OK, firstly I shall give you a quick synopsis. Or is it first I will give you... etc. Ah who cares. It's almost ten pm and I had wine. So moving on. Onward.  Erg.

Girl goes through portal (with a few of her friends) into an alternate dimension where it's medieval-Era and every freaking paranormal/magical story element exists (and shows up throughout the story at great convenience, but not in a well-written kind of way), and her sister, who disappeared from the same area ten years ago is there and married and immortal! Girl then gets mistaken for a princess and ends up married and illegally made immortal.

The action and adventure ensues, not too badly in the first book, but kills brain cells in the second and it wasn't until a character from our time says something about not having seen Days of our Lives in a while, but the drama is making up for it. In fact, he felt like he was on an episode of Maury.

Aha. Ms. Peebles watches soaps and trashy daytime TV and tries to write a book (or two or four. The count is getting up there) like it's a soap opera, but she just can't pull it off.

It's too bad. I had high hopes for the premise.

Bottom line: the first book is free. Go for it. The second book? I'm at 75% on the Kindle, and it's getting really hard to care whether or not the dragon eats them. Maybe it's because the girl is still trying to get back home even though she is physically bound to the wedding ring that binds her to the hot husband that she's in love with because she's a whiny little princess who complains non-stop about the lack of Sheraton hotels and drive-through restaurants. Waah. Life's to hard. Boo hoo.

Just have sex with your husband already. Gah.

Muse Monday 2015-08-03

I want to write speeches for Miss USA contestants! I really, really do!

When asked about anything more complicated than putting on makeup, or than clothing choices for specific occasions, just say that it's not in the Bible, or that you don't agree with it at all!

And since nothing is more complicated than putting on makeup, really, you should be fine!

The Magic of Tidying, Part 2. Or Something Like That

In a recent post (the last Random), I mentioned that I was reading Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

I did my clothes, and while everyone thought that I was spending a lot of time making the kids' drawers so pretty with the rolls of clothing when they'd probably just whip out ALL of the clothes and make a mess, I've found that this isn't the case. Maybe because they can see all of the clothes, they don't have to rip everything out, and the drawers actually stayed quite tidy.

Then we did the toys. The "putting away daily" part of that hasn't taken hold quite yet, but we'll get there before school starts. Or, I'll just toss it all, wooaahahaha. Kidding. But it's tempting.

Next on her list is books. I've done the cookbooks. And I even culled the old scrapbooks of cutouts that I got from a grandmother--mostly recipes I'd never use anyway, and I only kept a few of her handwritten recipes. I actually really want to go through MY books now, but the kids are playing with the Legos in the dining room, and since that's also my "library", they'll have to wait.

So I moved on to papers, instead. Which I'd gone through just a short month ago. Yesterday, however, I managed to fit the entire top drawer of my lateral-file filing cabinet into the filing drawer on my desk.

Now there's room in the filing cabinet to store things like the kids' construction paper (which, by the way, now has a hanging-folder for each colour, which makes it infinitely easier to get the sheet that you want). All my blank paper and notebooks have their own hanging-folder. Soon I will be able to get rid of the weird TV cabinet that we've been using as storage and as a desk for Hubby, and then get him a real desk! Or something.

So, this week's goal is books, and or the kitchen/pantry. The pantry may be an entity all on its own, just like that weirdly nebulous area above the fridge.

Random Thoughts 2015-07-25

Really, I have nothing. Nothing at all.

Except maybe cloudy thoughts, which match the weather today, swirling in my head, trying to come up with something to write.

Hey, didn't I get that book, the one that gives you 600+ things to write about? (Looks around house. Mentally.) Yeah, I'm not sure where it is, so maybe tomorrow I'll do something from that.

Have you seen or heard of that tidying book that will change your life? the life-changing magic of tidying up: the Japanese are of decluttering and organizing by Marie Kondo. It's awesome. I did clothes. Then I did toys (added that category). My kids' toys. Hmm. Maybe I should do my toys next...

The next topic is books. I will do the kitchen first.

I got married last weekend. Officially, not common-law-y. Someone at worked did that finger-shame-on-you thing because we've been "living in sin" for 9 years and 2 kids already. Maybe I was a virgin until last weekend? With 2 kids. And toys. Yeah, maybe not.

Then same person tsk-tsked all the single parents in his neighbourhood. I told him life happens, and not everyone is perfect. Mentally I may have been telling him to fuck off a little.

It's noticeably darker earlier at night, now. Sure, we can convince the kids to go to bed a little earlier now, but it's also harder to stay up later ourselves. Not that we're ever not tired by nine, anyway, so moot point, perhaps.

I'm trying to find out if we can house chickens in our backyard. The egg-laying kind, not the alarm-clock kind. What I read in the bylaws, and what "friends" tell me are two different things, so I'm going to see what the city tells me.

I was out of my office for 2 hours yesterday, and left my phone in my office. My mom phoned me six times while I was out. Six. One message. You know what she wanted? To know what kind of pizza she should get for the boys etc. Really? My grandmother has a terminal illness and you phone six times about pizza? Then when I was checking the message, she phoned a 7th time to tell me that she ordered whatever and was going to pick it up. Seven. Seven times about pizza. So not an emergency. Fucking freaked me out a little. I hope that should something happen to Grandma, she'd think to phone work if I didn't answer my cell phone.

Erg.

I should water my orchid. Every time I do I must put it back facing a different direction because it's spiraling nicely. Kind of like my life. Not out of control, but definitely not in a straight line, either.

I haven't done a BMBR lately. I have been reading. Hmmm. Tomorrow.

I'm looking out my front window right now, and I'm kinda wishing that I could see in to the neighbours' windows. No reason. Just bored.

The Benefits of a Good Poop

A friend of mine recently got married. She was pretty mellow throughout the whole lead-up with one minor Bridezilla moment.

All the girls in the wedding party were sitting around tearing apart off-the-shelf bouquets to rebuild into works of art. A couple people kept coming downstairs to ask the bride-to-be a million questions. It was actually only a couple of questions, but apparently it was still annoying to the nth degree.

We were actually thinking that perhaps a reality TV crew would be popping their heads out from around the corner at any moment, when BTB says, "I have to go poop. Be right back."

Maybe it was the discomfort that was making her crazy, and maybe it was the poop that wasn't allowing the caffeine in the coffee to be absorbed, but whatever it was, when she got back, she was happy and alert. And once again mellow.

So, if someone's ever suddenly really bitchy and uncomfortable-looking, they may just have to poop.