I don't know how you do it. I hope to everyone holy that you have a great support system.
I have the best husband in the world, and generally my kids are pretty good, but I'm still having a bad day. No, the kids haven't been bad. They've been kids. I'm just having one of those days where I'm exhausted for a variety of reasons, and I'm a bit too tired to maintain that perfect emotional fitness that we all strive so hard for (you know the one--it makes it "easy" for you to smile and speak lovingly and with perfect skills to your children even though it would be so much easier to yell at them. (I think that this effect was achieved in the 50's via Valium. I don't have any Valium)).
I'm going to admit it: I yelled. Not a lot. Not horribly or abusively. Maybe a little meanly.
I feel like a horrible parent.
All I want to do is cry. And be alone. And cry. Maybe not completely alone. Chocolate would be welcome, but I don't think that it would help much.
My husband knows this, and has been helpful tonight. It's still been hard and exhausting and tiring and frustrating and I feel nothing but shameful and useless even though I know that that's a lie.
How do single parents do it?
I think of friends of mine, and other people I know, and of people I don't know who are raising kids on their own, and I wonder, if I had to be a single parent, would I be able to rise above the frustration and the exhaustion and have kids who still love me at the end of the day?
I hope so.
I think that all the single moms (and dads) out there need some really big hugs.
And a friend or two who would be willing to watch your kid(s) for a few hours every once in a while so that you can sleep. Or cry. Or both.