101 Things to do for Children: # 57 - Learn to say, "No..."

Number 57 of the 101 Things Parents Can Do For Children is  Learn to say, "No," without anger, and with firmness and conviction. Not everything children want is appropriate.

Sometimes, it's hard to leave, maybe not so much the anger part out of it, but to leave the frustration part out of the word "No."

But I whole-heartedly agree that children do need to be told "No" when they are asking for things that are inappropriate, for things that are inappropriate in that moment (IE no juice/sugar before bed, thank you very much), or when instead of asking, they're whining and/or demanding for things, and are essentially being very rude.

A common utterance in our house is "What does whining (or crying) get you? Nothing."

And the word "Please" better be tacked on to that sentence somewhere (yes, we model this--even when I'm frustrated and super irritated I try to always say "Please", as in, "NO! I said please come brush your teeth, or I will take all of your trains away").

And, it's not, "Whine whine whine." "What's the magic word?" "Please." It's, "Whine whine whine." "What's the magic word?" "Please." "In a whole sentence. And without the whining. Please."

"Could I have some milk, Mommy. Please?"

That may have been a bit whiny, but it will do.

I Have a Very Tidy House

Well, kind of. Regardless, I hurt. Everywhere.

K1 looked into K2's clean room (which had been destroyed last night by the both of them) and excitedly exclaimed "Let's make a mess in here!!!!"

Someone put an immediate stop to him so he'll live 😉.

Sleep Ever Ellusive

It was a hot night, and Sheila decided to wait until it cooled down a little before she went to bed. Usually she didn't have to wait; usually her children kept her up until then. But not tonight.

Miracle of miracles, the older girl, Melissa, decided that all she needed was another story, and since it was the short Goodnight Moon, it didn't take long. And, the title was wonderfully appropriate. After that, she promptly fell to sleep. It probably helped that she spent a good portion of the day playing outside with the dog. In fact, it was a miracle that Melissa didn't fall face first into her soup at supper, she'd looked that tired.

I'm not looking that gift horse in the mouth, Sheila thought.

The baby was a bit trickier. She was destined to follow the usual pattern of nurse-to-fall-asleep-and-then-wake-up-within-one-minute-of-being-put-in-the-crib, Sheila could feel it. Terri looked a lot like her older sister, though, with a lot of head-resting on the high chair's tray at dinner. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing for Melissa to interrupt Terri's naps today after all.

Sheila did sit on the couch to nurse her to sleep though. It took over an hour, but Shane sat beside her and they watched a couple shows, so at least she wasn't alone like usual. And, Sheila would take any "couple-time" that she could get.

She finally put Terri in the crib and was oh so hopeful that she'd get more than the usual three hours of sleep before being woken up. She and Shane even got to spend some quality time together.

It was cooler now, and Sheila tried to sleep. Miracle of miracles, no little girls woke up until four! Right when she was actually falling asleep.

Of course.

Sleep of Late

Just when I think that there’s hope for my getting more than three hours of sleep in a row, and not just in a night, it’s smashed into wet, teary smithereens by a seven-month-old monster. I mean baby.

My first kid slept for five hours straight right off the bat. Not until two a.m., mind you, but I could get a decent night’s rest after a nursing/”Firefly” marathon. Kid number two, not so much. This one goes to bed much earlier, but then wakes every one to three hours because he peed. Or needs to nurse. Or, more likely, he peed and now he needs a refill. Oy. And, if he wakes up after about three or four in the morning, I pretty much have to take him to bed with me if I want to get any rest at all because being woken up every half hour for a little suck-fest, well, it sucks. So he eats and I sort of sleep.

And by sort of sleep I mean I sometimes have weird dreams but I get woken up a lot to him rooting around for some boob.

Anyway, lately things have been getting better. Once he goes to bed I have a good few hours to sleep. (It’s not his fault that this is when I choose to check my email or Facebook or some favourite blogs.) The nights he sleeps past three are the nights that I have to get up at three to drive hubby to work because I need the car tomorrow. Then nights I don’t have to get up at three, he wakes up every two hours.

Tonight he was soundly sleeping on my lap so I took him to the crib. He hiccupped. He woke up. He peed. I changed his diaper. Did he go back to sleep? No. He screamed for a good thirty minutes before he was ready for more boob to fall asleep by. But hey, he slept.

Only four more months before I go back to work…

To Clean, or Not to Clean. Your Plate, That Is.

I frequently, well lately it's sometimes, read this blog. Which recently pointed me to a nutritionist who says we should not be forcing our toddlers to clean their plates or to eat food in a certain order (IE good foods first and treats after).

Okay, firstly let me admit that I pretty much browsed through the second post very quickly because my kids are napping and will wake up any minute now, so I may have missed a pertinent point or two.

Regardless, I'll say that in theory I wholeheartedly agree with her.

When it comes to what our kids eat, it's usually pretty healthy food because that's 98% of what we buy, and when we do buy junk food, it's usually the "healthier" or more natural version, like real ice cream or potato chips that have ingredients that you can actually pronounce and spell unassisted. So to us it doesn't really matter what order the kids eat in, but usually because we eat dinner first before we even offer dessert, that's usually the order it goes in.

When it comes to our toddler, we've learned that sometimes he eats non-stop all day and therefore all it feels like I do all day is to get him meals and snacks. Usually, though, he eats some crackers. And by some, I mean two. Sometimes "two" means two halves of a stoned wheat thin, and sometimes it means two whole stoned wheat thins. Whatever. It's two. We've been okay with that. Because, in the grand scheme of things, sometimes all he eats is vegetables (raw; heaven help us if we cook his!) or fruit.

And, usually, when he's done eating, he's done, and it's all good.

Recently, though, I've been ready to force-feed him the last of his plate. We've had a few late suppers (as in, eat supper and go to bed), but when they've been early or on time, a snack before bed is provided. Lately supper has gone unfinished and/or the snacks have remained uneaten. No big deal, and this should be a non-issue according to Maryann.

I am, however, getting really tired of someone pounding on his door with his little fists while crying about how hungry he is within a five minutes of going to bed, which is within half an hour of the last offering of food (he gets to eat some crackers). And being woken up in the wee hours (read 04:00--a.m.) of the morning for the same reason got old the first time (he gets to eat more crackers).

So, generally, we're happy if he eats. Anything. And however much he wants. But he's either going to be force-fed before bed or ignored all night (but only if I can find my earplugs).

Maybe I should just feed him those magical crackers before bed/at supper. . . . Good thing that they sell them at Costco.