NBCWA Workshop: The Graveyard Shift: A Horror Writing Workshop

 I signed up for a lot of the local writer's festival (lots going on in July), and tonight's was as the title says, and hosted by Lizzie Van Bakel.

She gave us three prompts: 
1. Buried alive.
2. Something is following you in the dark.
3. There's a knock on the glass, but not on a window--on a mirror.

Later, I was asked what was up with writing on tiny pieces of paper (because I left my notebook at home and this was in my desk at work); I quite like the process of it, I've discovered.
I was also complemented on how nice my handwriting is (it looks pretty); try and read it. Even I stumbled over it reading it out loud.
Yes, I read out loud. I am forcing myself to put myself out there. 
We were told to write about what makes you uncomfortable; maybe there's a horror story in there...

Without further ado, here is what was jotted down tonight:

    Lisa May walked home the same route every night. Alone in the silence was usual. Company was not. And Lisa May was sure that she had company.

    Her company was behind her, and to the left. Sometimes to the right. But never directly behind her, not even to switch from left to right, which didn't make any sense. And it was switches. For a very short time, Lisa May thought that maybe she had more than one company, but that wasn't right, either.

    The left and the right never made noise at the same time, and one never had to catch up to the other in terms of relative difference. The trade-off was swift, silent, and a well-oiled machine.

    She turned around, and as she looked at the behind her to the left, and to the behind her to the right, and to the behind her behind her, or in front of her now, but definitely not the way forward, she thought of the pictures going around online of the differences between what men see versus what women see when they're walking on a dark foggy street. Men see straight ahead. Like predators. Women see with great peripheral detail. Like prey.

    Lisa May nailed the peripheral vision test for good reason. And, she was using all of that peripheral vision power now. 

    Nothing. Abject silence. And a cool breeze that didn't even dare to ruffle a leaf.

    Lisa May turned around. Forward. The way home, not the way back.

    She stood still. 

    So, too, did her company.

    Maybe her company flew away. Maybe it had just been a bird.

    That walked behind her.

    "Well that makes no sense, Lisa May," she muttered.

    She started walking. Forward. Eyes straight ahead, but seeing almost 180 degrees, like her vision was a wall beside her, pushing on anything that she walked past. Her ears, if they could swivel, would have been turning behind her to hear the other 180 degrees. But of course, human ears don't swivel. They shouldn't. That would be creepy.

    Lisa May paused, took in a deep breath, and held it. Exhaled slowly. No movement. No noise. 

    One step forward on the next inhale. No noise. No company. Well, no evidence of company.

    No physical evidence of company.

    No outside physical evidence of company. Did the hairs standing up on the back of your neck count as physical evidence? Or was that something else? Psychic evidence? A hunch? A third eye?

    Lisa May's neck felt like that time she was in an MRI. One more of the many tests. But nothing else, so one foot in front of the other, Lisa May kept walking. She made it to the next turn of the path. Left, then right, around a tree that no one would cut down.

    Company, behind her and to the left. She focused. Company, on the ground, and behind her and to the left. Then, immediately and without pause, company behind her and to the right. But not on the ground. And not on the left. But definitely the same distance behind her as the Left had been.

    "Maybe I'm being stalked by a squirrel and a bird?" she breathed, quietly.

    Lisa May walked faster. Her company got closer, but this time, only on the Left, and almost imperceptible. She walked faster and with purpose, head held high. Head with the headache forming in the one spot above her right eye. The headache that was the reason for all the many tests.

    She read somewhere that if you walk without fear, chances are less that you will be prey.

                                                                ~

That's as far as I got. A few things to flesh out. There's a sentence on the third piece of paper that's bracketed and marked "later". Is it a bird and a squirrel. Or "not a squirrel! NOT A SQUIRREL OH MY GOD NOT A SQUIRREL!!"? Is it straight up horror of the human kind? Fantasy? Aliens? 

I don't even know yet what follows Lisa May.

BMBR: Seeking Persephone by Sarah M. Eden

 Social media has been flogging a TV series that's available to watch on Angel TV should you want to pay for another streaming service, which I don't, and somewhere along the way it was mentioned that it's based off a book, so I looked up the book, which led to reading the book.

The book was lovely. 

Regency romance with the tropes: no one knows anyone until the day of the wedding, he has to wed to produce an heir so that his useless cousins don't inherit, her family needs money so she agrees, he doesn't like feelings, and Beauty and the Beast.

No sex. Which was fine. It was still lovely.

Lots of crying. Not a how-to-be-strong-as-a-role-model character, but not a weak and useless character, either. 

The writing was a bit clunky at the start, but it got better, enough that I also read the second book in the series. 

Has it really been since November?

 I knew it's been a while, but I didn't know it's been that long.

Well, hi. And I hope you hear more from me.

BMBR: The Song of the Jade Lily by Kirsty Manning

Oh, My Heart.

This is a beautiful book. 

Set in Shanghai and in Melbourne, and set in 1939-1945 and 2016, it is a beautiful story of love, loss, secrets, and discovery.

I had no idea that Jewish refugees fleeing Europe ended up in Shanghai, that Shanghai was so diverse in 1939, and that even after Germany surrendered in 1945, war still raged there.

Alexandra, after her Opa's death in 2016, travels from Melbourne to Shanghai to try to find her blood family (she was adopted). Interwoven is a beautiful telling of her Oma's life in Shanghai after fleeing Austria, until she travels to Australia, and all the secrets that she carries.

This is not a heavy tome; the prose moves well, is not burdensome, nor is it stuffy with lecture and description. Manning is a master of showing in her writing.

But neither is it a fluffy piece. It punched me right in my soul. And then gave me a hug.

There is love and longing, loss and despair, death and horror, and grace and kindness.

I am left feeling grateful. For everything. Everything that I have, and everything that I do not.

I cried. But I am warmed, and 10/10, recommend this book.

P0rn vs Spicy Books

 Language warning.

I've seen the odd post about some old fogey or two somewhere wanting to ban spicy books because they're thought of as porn, because porn is bad (and we all know without a shadow of a doubt that those old fogeys have never watched porn in their entire lives), and how dare women get in the mood without their husbands.

This got me thinking, just what is the difference between Porn and Spicy Books? 

Porn:

Dude: whoa, hey, I, uh, have a pizza? For this address?

Hot Woman: Oh, hey, yeah, why don't you come on in?

Dude Comes. On. In. 

Obligatory hot sex scene on a counter.

Obligatory anal sex scene.

Obligatory two girls one guy sex scene.

Optional boob sex scene.

Obligatory sex on a bed, but not in a position that looks remotely comfortable.

Obligatory blow job scene.

Obligatory someone else is watching the sex scene.

Not necessarily in that order. No story line. Just some random reasons to have sex. If you're lucky, you'll come across a sex scene where both participants look like they're having fun.

And if you're really lucky, the sex will be graphic. If you're stuck in a remote camp with limited satellite porn options, you might have to watch some guy get a blow job while he holds his unbuttoned shirt out so that you can't see the cock in the mouth.

If I wanted to use my imagination, I'd read a spicy book.

Spicy Book:

Meet-cute chapter.

Flirty chapter-character 1's POV.

Flirty chapter-C2's POV.

Flirty let's go for dinner/coffee/camping chapter.

Oh my god he's so cute chapter.

Make out session chapter. Sometimes it's a sex chapter.

Oh my god why is someone that hot into me chapter.

Self doubt chapter #2.

Do stuff together chapter.

Ohmygod she's so hot chapter.

Sex chapter.

Lack of communication chapter.

Almost break up chapter.

Almost sex chapter.

Miscommunication chapter. Or someone gets kidnapped. Or almost dies. Whatever it takes to bring about a big climax. Of the story.

Somebody saves the day / finally says whatever the fuck needed to be said in the Lack of Communication chapter.

Sex chapter.

Super sex chapter.

Stupid epilogue.

Of course, depending on the habanero pepper rating, you could have sex scenes sooner and more often, with more people (at the same time), with tails and/or tentacles, with ropes and whips, and with really creative positions.

What you definitely have is a story.

What's so wrong with spicy books?

Let's say that the porn is hot. Awesome. Chances are that unless dude's wife is watching with him, he's done at the end of the movie. Or the first scene. She misses out. Maybe. Maybe she dodges a mediocre bullet.

Spicy books, on the other hand, can be foreplay. They can rev you up and get your imagination going, and once that imagination is going, keep you hot until your partner is available.

Case in point: 

My husband likes some of the books that I read more than others. 

He has no idea what I'm reading. Just that I am good to go. 

January: How to do better without the pressure of a New Year's Resolution Fest.

 What I learned about myself by not making any Resolutions, building habits instead, kick starting the year with a nutrition challenge, and doing less in my workouts (with bigger gains). And, my mantra for the year: "Just not all at once, and not right away."

I am part of Street Parking, an online fitness (programming) community that has its origins in the CrossFit world (at least, the founders do), but is not a CrossFit affiliate itself. It was designed as a program where if all you have is a pair of dumbbells and some determination, you can follow the program and get yourself fit. There are, of course, options for if you have more or all of the equipment, and options if you're pregnant/postnatal, or just starting out and not fit at all.

Their December mantra was Anti New Year, New Me:

In other words, don't wait for January to start your fitness journey; start / keep going in December. Build your consistency now. 

Of course, it's well past December. Did you make NY Resolutions, and now it's February, and you've already failed? Are you going to wait until next New Year? If you miss starting out in the first week of the month, are you going to wait until the next month starts? Spring? Summer? 

I hope not.

Just start now. If there's one thing I've learned over the years of trying to get fit, it's that I have to let go of my Calendar OCD. I don't have to start a yoga sequence at the beginning of a month, or on a Monday. I don't have to join a program/gym at the beginning of a year. Just start. Start where you are, and work towards your goal.

Street Parking (SP) hosted a Jump Start nutrition challenge for January.

Not going to lie, this felt a bit like a resolution thing, but it was more about learning about yourself and building consistent habits around nutrition.

Points were earned by:

• Hitting your nutrition goals each day. It didn't matter if you chose the 800g Challenge or Paleo etc.
• Drinking a set water target (of your choice).
• Walking 10 minutes/ day or reaching a step target each day.
• Starting each day with a protein and fruits or veggies at your first meal.
• Avoid Alcohol.
• Pay attention each day: 
• How was your sleep?
• How was your energy level?
• And each week, note what your biggest win and what your biggest obstacle was.

How I did on the Challenge:

I didn't choose a specific diet plan. I've been aiming for 800g of fruits and vegetables a day for quite some time now, and I've been trying to increase my protein consumption. But I didn't want to have to do it for a challenge. So I chose to log all food and beverages consumed in Cronometer because I hate logging my food, but I do so much better when I do. Sure, I still have the chocolate and the snacks, but not as much. Logging keeps me accountable, if you will. And after having to do it every single day for four weeks, I've learned that it really doesn't take that long to do (time yourself, you'll see).

Will I keep logging going forward? Yes. Forever? Hell no.

I hit my water target (80oz) every day, and while I thought I drank lots of water before, sometimes tea got in the way. And I do feel better (my bladder likes more water, too. Less UTI irritation). I can't promise myself that I'll do 80oz every day, but I think 2L is doable (64), so somewhere in between. I'm not going to log it, though.

I chose the walking 10 minutes per day option. My dog agreed that this was the good option.

I work a desk job, so hitting step targets over 6k is just so much pressure (but that 10 minute walk can get me over 6k every time), and my psyche can't handle the failure of not hitting 10k steps a day.

We often have protein (eggs and turkey bacon), and often a vegetable or fruit for breakfast, but I made sure that I had it every day, even on weekends when cereal is usually easier. Granola with yogurt and a banana works, though.

Avoiding alcohol was easy enough. Had the challenge been no honey in my tea, we would have had issues. Or no chocolate. That would not have gone over well.

One thing I learned about myself during this challenge was that reading before bed made me have a much better sleep than anything else. I mean sure, walking in -20° can make you sleepy, eating well calms you down, but reading an actual book just does something to my brain, and my sleep score improves every time. Unless it's a smut e-book.

Unrelated to the Jump Start challenge, I made a big decision about my workout plan.

If you look through all the tracks that SP has to offer, you can choose from the daily workouts, several different endurance programs, multitudes of strength programs, bodyweight programs, rucking, and recovery. You could do something every day, multiple times a day. Well, someone infinitely fitter and thirty years younger than I could.

Last Spring I found myself wanting to do it all. Program it all. 

I had to stand back and ask myself, why am I doing this in the first place? To keep up with my kids. Go hiking and biking and swimming with them. And I found myself giving it all in a few workouts a week to the point where I was wrecked on the weekend and couldn't do any of that.

So in late December I decided to back off.

I chose to do the Shift (easier) version of all the Vault workouts (the special Monday workouts that are super fun, but not easy, and if you do all 25 in a year, you get a badge) this year. I am making myself do the Shift version of the Vault this year, at least for the first time through (January - June). Even if I think I can scale the barbell version, I'm doing the Shift version. 

And you know what? It's still hard. But I'm not wrecked on a Monday.

Wednesdays for the first 12 weeks of the year, SP has decided to focus on Strength. I'm enjoying the Strength sessions. They work a lot of the body in 30 minutes, and again, I'm backing off on how hard I push myself through the workout, but in doing so I'm making bigger gains. I can't explain it. I'm not pushing myself to the point of not being able to move the next day, but each week I add a little more weight (if I feel like it), and I've improved so much in just one month. I'm not overloading my overhead movements--those gains take longer or I suffer with arms that fall asleep all night and all day. But I can shoulder-press two pounds more than I could last Fall.

The other days of the week are spent working on one or two of endurance, some Olympic lifts, swimming, stairs, and just getting out and doing things on the weekends.

It's all about building Habits.

My Perfectly OCD Calendar has all my Habit Curator bubbles filled in every day, and I hit 800g every day, and I eat enough protein every day, and I do yoga every day, and I do about five other things every day. And I'll paint my house this year.....

This whole challenge, my biggest wins have been sleeping better and having more energy, and my biggest obstacles have been my own desire to do it all now.

I did start January with the intention of doing yoga every day (mostly because my mobility is tanking), but so far that hasn't happened. And maybe it's the nightly walks, or that I've backed off on the intensity of my workouts a bit, or that I'm actually stretching a tiny bit after workouts, but I'm not as stiff as I usually am if I don't do yoga. 

Don't get me wrong. I still need to work on my mobility. But I can take it slower than every day. 

I've nailed the daily walk habit.

I am good with logging my food every day.

And even though I wasn't actively trying for it, I did reach 800g & protein macros almost every day by the end of the challenge.

I do want to work on Endurance every week. 

I want to hike etc. every week.

I want to paint my house this Spring, and garden this Summer.

But it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be consistent. And more than nothing. Go Big or Go Home is not going to work here. And you can't have it all, not right away.

And every time I think I'm failing because I'm not doing it all right now, I think of the scene in Supergirl where Cat Grant explains how she does do it all, and I think, this actually is the very best advice:

Kara Danvers : It was very hard. Really, really very hard.... I just don't know how you do it, Ms. Grant. I don't understand how you juggle it all.

Cat Grant : Oh, Kira, you have stumbled upon the most annoying question of the century, and you are so young that you do not even realize it. How do you juggle it all? You learn, that's how. You start with two balls before adding another. I figured out how to be brilliant in business, and then I added being a brilliant mother. Far too many women burn out trying to do too much before they're ready.

Kara Danvers : So you can have it all?

Cat Grant : Of course. Just not all at once, and not right away. And not with that hair. Use conditioner, for god's sake.

BMBR: Veiled Kingdom and Hunted Heir by Holly Renee

 Random FB recommendation so I went for it (e-book). Decently written, okay romance, nice story, but IT DIDN'T END in book one so I bought book two and IT DIDN'T END and now I'm left in a quandary: do I preorder book three or do I drop the series? 

I preordered it, but I don't feel like my life would be lacking if I hadn't. 

3/5.

The sex scenes have good detail.