Mayhem 30 Hard

I do CrossFit. Not this summer because I'm taking a break (my plantar fasciitis said so). 

I start up again in September, and because my gym is a Mayhem affiliate, the Monthly Mayhem challenge is the Mayhem 30 Hard (based off the 75 Hard challenge, which, if you know nothing about it, Google that shit and then applaud everyone who is determined enough to do it because damn, I could not repeatedly set myself up for that much failure. And my colleague who did it looked exhausted. I'm digressing).

It's a challenge designed to test your resolve and self-discipline. And it's a little easier than 75 Hard. 

But does that mean I'm going to do it? I mean, I could, but does Mayhem not know that people (or their children) start school in September, so it's not just "here are 7 things you need to accomplish everyday to be worthy complete this challenge", it's "here are 7 things you need to accomplish everyday to be worthy complete this challenge and you need to prepare / help your kids prepare lunches, get them to school, drive them to all their extra curriculars (I love having nerdy introverted children), make supper and do laundry on a regular basis. Also have sex with your significant other. Unless you're so exhausted that all you want to do is cry in the shower and maybe sleep there because the bed is way over there and now that you're in the shower do you really need to get out? Because yeah, I need to add to my existing get-up-at-04:30-go-to-bed-at-22:00-but-you-need-8+-hours-of-sleep day.

This is what we have to do (and what my inside voice thinks about it all):

For the September monthly challenge, we’re doing a condensed version of the 75 Hard program, which you may have heard of.

To successfully complete this challenge, for the next 30 days, you must do ALL of the following EVERY DAY (the notes on this say that this scores a 7, and that if we don't do all of it, score what you did do. Also, you don't have to "start over" like you do in 75 Hard):

• Complete two 30+ minute workouts (at least one workout MUST be outside) If I do Shavasana for half an hour on the deck and then for half an hour in bed, does that count?
• Drink 2/3 of your body weight in ounces of water
  (For example: if you weigh 200 lbs, you will need to drink a minimum of 133 oz of water each day) Hahahahahahahahahaha. Wait. Didn't someone die from this? I can get about 60% of this one, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to get a 7/7 day.
• Read 10+ pages in a nonfiction book Do CRA rulings count? Financial Statements? Lavender's Blue is non-fiction, right? I'm learning how to deal with drunk people and escape weddings so it counts. 
• Consume zero alcohol for the entire 30 days The blueberry apple ciders will stay in my fridge for another 30 days. No problemo.
• Choose any diet and stick with it The notes on this say that even just logging all food everyday, or reaching the goal of no snacks after supper can count. I do actually want to follow the 800g Challenge diet. You do feel amazing on it! But that means that I have to prep salads for work lunches, and not eat just pasta for supper like you do when you answer a kazillion unread emails on your first day back after a holiday whilst putting out Sage fires. Accounting, not brush.
• No cheat meals Someone I know has a birthday in September, so we all know how that one's going to go.
• Take a daily progress picture There may not be publishable words for this one.

I'm going to bed now.

This Draft is from May. Or March. Probably March. 5th.

 Every time I think I'm going to do better at actually writing. Blogging or not, just writing. At all. It doesn't seem to happen.

I'm using Saint Belford's Planner, and I have to tell you, I love it. It's focused on self care, not do these million things by 3pm. It has a habit tracker in it, and one of those habits should be write something. Other than a financial statement.

Saturday Ski

 Cross-Country skiing is great. Until you need to slow down or stop.

Took a new trail yesterday, and on the map the trail is green. IE, easy, gentle slopes if there are any. 

I did okay. Enjoyed it even.

Got to the last loop of the trail. Bit of a hill. Okay, I've done green hills before. No problems. I don't need to take the little connector to the flat trail I've taken before, I tell myself. Down I go, and all is going well until the left ski left the track and wouldn't come back in and I had to bail. On my face. Good times. 

I get back up with a bit of assistance from someone who has probably been skiing since the beginning of time. I didn't even have to take my skis off! Win for me. 

"Oh," she says. "There is a bit of a divot there," and points up the trail a bit.

"Yeah, that was me. That's where I fell." Apologies to everyone else who had to ski that afterwards.

I continue on. The next hill looks just as intimidating. I follow some other newbies across a gap to a nicer looking trail. Fall on my ass stepping down onto the main trail. 

I make it to the top of the hill just above the lodge, and even though I know it's okay to ski down (I've done it before, even), I calmly ski into the upper parking lot, remove my skis, and take the stairs.

I log into my fitness app and have a look at my ski. I compare its map to the Ski Trails map. I look a little closer.

The last part of the loop is blue, with yellow high-lighting to show that it's lit up at night. And that looks green. Definitely is not green, though.

It's Been a While

You ever have those days where you want to blog / write, but you feel like it's a guilty pleasure to do so because it's something just for you, and that there are so many other things to do, so you don't?

Apparently I've had over a year of that. Over two years of that.

And then I feel guilty about that,  

But then I remind myself that I have done things just for myself these last two years. I've gone to the gym a couple mornings a week which means that my kids have to get up and start getting ready for school on their own.

I've taken dog tracking classes.

I've taken a weekend trip BY MYSELF. 

I've focused on health these last two years.

And now I want to add writing to the table.

So I'm not going to feel guilty.

Sex on Saturday 2021-01-09

When you have kids, and you work hours slightly off from your spouse's, it can be tough to work in sex. 

Especially sex together.

There's always KY in the shower, or "Mommy needs 10 more minutes of sleep, so go pour yourselves some cereal" on a weekend morning.

But, sometimes you just want to actually touch your partner, and your spouse has to go to bed before the kids because he works at WTF o'clock in the morning, so maybe you try a quickie of some kind while the kids are distracted, but then the dogs start fighting, or the kids do, or your mom--who lives in your basement--comes upstairs for something, so you pause your ministrations to your spouse's pleasure and go take care of it. By the time you're done, the kids may as well go to bed. It is amazing how long it can take them to brush their teeth, wash up, pee and go to bed. You think it's a ten minute job, but if you're lucky, your spouse is still awake 30-45 minutes later.

Pro tip #1: read a book that makes you hot and ready to go when you know you're going to have 10 minutes,  and probably only ten minutes. This reading can be done while you're watching the same kid's show for the 12th time so that when hubby gets out of the shower, you only need 10 minutes to get off because you've taken care of the foreplay. 

"Keep watching kids. Mommy's going to go help Daddy with some laundry."

Overtone - Are You Afraid of Stains?

I've answered the Suggested for You ads in FB Land, and have partaken in some Overtone dying of the hair.

Fuck that sounds awkward. It's late. Ten whole minutes before 9pm. 

Anyhoo, I started with Extreme Green. My tub looked like a curry took a bath in it. 

My hair is a medium-dark blonde with strawberry highlights. 

The green took out the red, and made my hair look like a dark blonde.

I then ordered Purple for Brown Hair, and Blue for Brown Hair.

Better results for sure. Purple stays in your hair longer; even after it's all faded out, there's a slight purple undertone to it. 

Blue was less likely to stick around, and my husband claims that it makes my hair look grey. As it fades out, it certainly does.

I actually used some Extreme Green (daily conditioner) to colour-correct back to a more natural shade towards the end of the week. That worked out well!

Quick note on the hubby: when we met, I had a horse, got dirty, never wore makeup or painted my nails, etc. etc.

My horse died, and I still get dirty (camping and gardening are great), but now I'm decorating myself for fun. I've discovered great makeup (www.buffd.com), and occasionally like to paint my nails (with as chemical-free a polish as possible), and, now I'm dying my hair. When I have time. Like, once a month or two or three.

So, Hubby is okay with the hair dying as long as I don't go Old-Lady Burgundy.

Purple puts me in danger of being Old-Lady Burgundy. 

And makes the tub look like I tried to make wine.

And, if you ever want to stage a "Smurf was murdered and chopped up in the bathtub" event, dye your hair with Blue for Brown.

So then I figured that I'd try Ginger since I have naturally occurring red highlights. Hello, Anne with an "e"!

As it fades (I've stopped using the daily conditioner - I think if I did, I'd still be very orange), it's heading closer to an Auburn.

This one is easier on the tub, by the way.

I now have Golden Brown on order so that I can mix it with some Ginger; maybe I can reach an Auburn.

Regardless, know that if you fuck up with this product, it washes out within a week or so, and that it is truly kind to your hair.

BMBR: Timber: The Mountain Man's Babies by Frankie Love

Okay, so this is a quickie because I'm actually working and I read a page when my brain needs a break from the freaking formulas in spreadsheet that I'm working on.

This was free on BookBub today. I was promised (by the Amazon description) that I'd get so hot and bothered that I'd dig out a vibrator, and that if the batteries were dead, well, I have hands.

Not the worst writing, as long as you realize that this is straight up erotica with a bit of a story, and not meant to be an actual romance novel.

1. Dude is redundant. I get it, Jax; your cock is huge, and you like fucking women, and you're hiding in the woods because you fucked the sheriff's daughter and now he's making your life a living hell, and you're not going to fuck the local chicks because you don't need the local hassle, but you're all about fucking women and chopping wood,, and you're really good at both because your cock is huge and you sharpen your axe nightly. You seriously don't need to say that on every. single. page.

2. Jax helps Harper lose her virginity. With his big cock.
     The sex scenes are short, hot vanilla.

3. She gets pregnant. Jax says he did not see that coming. Seriously? You didn't use a condom, and you thought that the pious preacher's daughter who was saving herself for marriage was on birth control? Really?

Idaho needs to up its Sex-Education game.

4. OMG I lied. The writing gets worse. Then better. The sex is so vanilla that I'm skipping it to get to the story. Not quite what I look for in erotica.