Sleeping Beauty. The movie.

I'm watching Sleeping Beauty. And it's not the Disney version. It's not even for kids.

I can see why it's only 2.25 stars.

TV period shows have better makeup and costuming. And better writing and acting.

TV shows even have a bigger horseflesh budget; this poor prince has a cute, but shaggy posse of ponies.

Any adherence to the laws of physics is pretty questionable, too. I mean, just how likely is it that paper scraps would survive in a bird's nest for 100 years and still be legible?

Okay maybe it is magic. It is a fairytale after all.

The best two things about the movie?

Surprisingly decent CGI/special effects.
And Olivia D'Abo.

Worth watching? No, but I did. That's what a fairytale fetish gets you I guess.

Random Thoughts 2014-08-26

Trying blogger on my phone for the first time. I may or may not like it. It should make it easier to blurt out my random thoughts before I forget what they were. Sometimes they're really good and they make me laugh and I think that you might laugh, too, but then after a long day at work--where I don't post because I'm paranoid that work can see what I'm typing. Actually that's not the paranoia.  I KNOW that they can see what I'm doing online.  I'm paranoid that they ARE looking at what I'm doing online--and after a long evening of trying to get some wonderful but very busy and testy kids fed, bathed, clothed, cuddled, fed again, cleaned up, clothed again and in bed, and then after a long night of more work, I get to try to blog and I sit at my computer and try to keep my head from falling off my shoulders and I can't for the life of me remember what I had for supper, let alone what it was that made me laugh in the morning.

So I'm trying this on my phone.

What kinds of random thoughts do I have and then can't remember, you ask? Well, just this morning I was putting some canned chicken on my salad for lunch, and as I was putting the leftovers in a container I had a brief thought of just throwing the chicken in with my eggs and doing scrambled instead of basted on toast, and then I thought, I wonder what chickens would think about that? Would they think, hey, isn't it bad enough that you eat us, and our babies? Do you really have to eat us wrapped up in our children? (It didn't sound that gross in my head.) But then I thought, how would the chickens know what's going on in my house? I went with basted on toast, regardless.

I wonder what pigs would think if they knew that they were wrapped up in baby chicken omelettes all the time.

OH MY GOODNESS! ! Outlander is on Showcase. I set it to record the series. It didn't. Thank goodness Showcase repeats their episodes a lot. I will get to see the first episode, I reset the series recording, and I don't have to kill my cable box in a fit of rage (no anger management issues here).

I've been trying to cut back on the caffeine. It's not like I drink a lot of coffee--I only make four cups of half regular and half decaf, which is one travel mug and one large-ish table mug of coffee. So maybe I'm not cutting back on the coffee so much as I am cutting back on the cream that goes in the coffee.

This is probably a good thing because I don't use that half-and-half stuff that just waters down the coffee; I use the 18 percent (I had to spell that out because in the last phone update the third page of symbols disappeared and apparently the percent symbol was on it. Fucking Android) cream which adds a creamy richness to the flavour and the texture of the coffee. It also adds to the richness of my hips and ass, so I'm cutting back on the coffee.

I know what you're thinking: you can just cut the cream out of the coffee. Yes. I could. But then I'd be tempted to add more sugar and that just makes my face explode. Tea is more palatable black than coffee is. In my opinion, of course.

So I've been trying out Lady Grey tea. I love Earl Grey tea, and now I'm in love with the lady. Yum.

One small problem:

Despite the caffeine, which does perk me up eventually, while I'm drinking it and for thirty minutes afterwards, I feel like napping. I don't mean I'm a little drowsy. I mean I look and feel like I'm going to pass out. Or like I'm stoned, maybe.

This tea is soothing. It would be the perfect tea to sip on when putting my feet up while I'm reading a nice relaxing book, maybe even in the tub.

Not too sure when that will happen though...

Sukhi Just Earned My Respect

I just finished watching this week's episode of The Amazing Race Canada.

You know how they always ask you who your favourite team is? Who you're rooting for?

I never really know until close to the end, but I do usually know who I'm not rooting for. Not who I'm hoping will be eliminated (because hoping someone gets eliminated would be mean), just who I'm not necessarily hoping will win.

I wasn't rooting for Sukhi and Jinder. At all. They've been the team that can't seem to figure out how to do anything on their own. They get excitable and panicky and spacey (they are the team that stood in front of a clue box several times and couldn't see the forest for the trees) and no other team will help them. They've been seen as the weakest link. Even I thought that they'd flake out before the end of the race.

Oh, how wrong we've all been!

Spoiler alerts ahead.

Take last week. A challenging roadblock (bicycle biathalon) had teammates cycling a kilometre before having 5 rounds to make 5 shots with a rifle. Don't get all five? Take another bike ride to get another 5 rounds.

All the other teams had to go around at least once more; some of them completed their exercise quota for the month, including the dude who is a hunter.

Sukhi and Jinder show up (after struggling with harnessing dogs in the previous task and after having to complete their speed bump for coming in last in the previous week's non-elimination round), and does her bike ride, and then proceeds to boost everyone's confidence by walking up to the shooting range, saying, "I've never held a gun before."

Boom. Ting! Boom. Ting! Boom. Ting! Boom. Ting! Boom. Ting!

That's right. Five shots. Done.

Fast forward to this week's episode, and we see Sukhi and Jinder rock a currency-flag matching task, and then choose a hockey task over a perogy-making task. Sukhi can't skate. Never has. Jinder doesn't look much better on skates, and no, they don't beat the girls (but other teams do!), but they do finish in time to catch up and move up the ladder.

I'm thinking that they are finally proving why they travel so well together, and maybe the other teams shouldn't dismiss them quite so readily.

I may even start to root for them.

Brooklyn 99

I've had a crazy week. Crazy busy, yes, but also crazy as in I'm trying really hard not to go crazy while I try to find a new home for my last horse that I don't have the time or the physical ability to do stuff with, and I hate the hanging participle or whatever it's called, really, but I don't have time to dig in to that fail, so feel free to learn me but please do it nicely because crazy lady is trying not to cry every night at the thought of "postponing" her dream of having a horse blah blah blah. Stupid broken foot. And holy macaroni, that sentence was a train-wreck.

Usually when I'm trying to "avoid" life, so-to-speak, I turn to fluffy, oftentimes smutty, books. I can't do smutty. Hubby can't have sex for a week, which means no hot smut for me because it's like foreplay and I end up jumping him and that wouldn't be fair. Not sure for whom it's not fair. Argh.

We came across Brooklyn 99 recently. I'm avoiding life with this wonderful TV show. It's like The Office except it's set at a police station, and it's funny. Even Hubby laughs at it. Anyway, I'm addicted. It's 10:30, the kids will be up in a few hours because they don't yet understand the concept of sleeping in on a weekend. Firstly, they'd have to understand the concept of a weekend. And the concept of sleeping in. Actually, they do understand the concept of sleeping in, but only if it means that I'm going to be late for work.

Right, back to on-topic; it's late and I can't stop watching B99. Well, I guess I can, since I'm not watching right now, but I want to be. I need to save some episodes for later, though, so I cut myself off.

Now if only I could cut myself off from chocolate. For more than a day, at least.